My opinions as of 4/22/09, 11:51AM - let me give you them. And while we're on the topic of Miss California's total Pageant Faux-Pas, let me just make it weird and say, "well she's a blonde from La Jolla, should we be surprised?"

To the lovely little girls in our complex - It is a joy to watch you play and grow, and to wake up with humongous chalk doodles all over our courtyard. But please understand: When you release horrific, blood curdling shrieks and scream "Mommy" or "Daddy" at the top of your lungs - though nothing is in fact wrong and you are not in danger - you illicit very painful mental and emotional responses as well as over time actually compromise your safety. Initially during this response - I flash back to when I was 3 years old, at the old Warehouse music/video on 19th Avenue in SF, when a stranger picked me up from the middle of the kids/family isle, less than 10 ft away from my mother, and walked out of the store. This is one of the most horrific things that happened to me in my entire life and I remember it very clearly. However, most days I wake up I generally try to NOT have to remember it. Then, after that induction of sudden nausea, and a whirlwind of other memories, I enter the defensive mindset of having lived in Oakland for the last 6 years where a door opening or a scuffle two blocks away could wake me from a DEAD SLEEP. Please for the love of peace of mind and legitimate concern for your safety as two young, bright girls - we may be in a safe little suburban neighborhood but this is not a safe little suburban world - DON'T SCREAM FOR YOUR PARENTS LIKE THAT UNLESS YOU ARE IN FRICKEN DANGER OR SOMETHING IS WRONG. Yes, that includes tantrums about things that aren't exactly going your way. One day, if something happens to you, I fear everyone in this complex would subconsciously block out your cries for help. And yet what you consider "at play" has me up and on the balcony within 2 seconds flat to see if you are OK. You have another baby sister on the way and she will take all of your cues as gospel and learn from you both. I know that sounds really harsh, but that is my opinion and yes I think about this every day when I hear you guys playing in the courtyard.

Regarding office communication - Everywhere I have worked, people seem to have the same issues with eachother. With the exception of a few true douchebags, people mainly have issues, not on a personal level, but with communication - specifically the way things are directed or requested. Though email is the biggest offender simply because of lack of facial cues, tone and sometimes context, I truly think that, if everyone was to read back their crappy, shitforbrains emails as if they were written from a coworker to themselves, it would be pretty easy to spot the problem(s). Unless of course, you are either lacking the mental capacity to do so in the first place, or you have a cold, cold, dark heart (that may actually apply to most of us). What comes to mind right now, TWO WORDS, two very tiny words, in this one particular email, could have changed the whole game. That project would have been done, all parties would have gotten what they needed, and everyone would have moved on. But NOOOO. (palm --> face)

40 is the new 20 - my dad's youngest half-sister just posted this new photo set on her FaceBook:

But then again, my aunt has always been cooler than everyone. Good thing she likes younger men and I like older men because DUDE SHE WOULD BE STEALING OUT OF MY DATING POOL otherwise.

Family holidays - I appreciate the "Kids Table" so much more now and I think no matter how old I am, and whether it was with my family, friends' family, etc, I'll always have fun at the Kids Table and never curse the place tags ever again. Though, depending on how many bottles of Whiskey you have available, you might not want me at the Kids Table. Hah.

Tattoos - Never ask someone how much they cost you f*cking bag of dicks! That question shoves a giant foot full of assumptions in your mouth and is overall rude. I don't ask you how much your dickbag car cost or dickbag work outfit and fancy ass shoes cost, or how much your stupid haircut cost, or how much your FAILED PLASTIC SURGERY cost... I mean just on any level... it's unnecessary. On that note, you get what you pay for, so collecting "bids" on shop minimums is a guaranteed way to piss off the people you're about to get permanently marked by. Also, when people ask if I regret it or will regret it when I'm "old" - 1) When I am "old" I will probably have plenty of other things to worry about. 2) I have faced challenges far greater in life than proving myself in Corporate America despite my tattoos. My experience, work ethic and performance speaks for itself. Since I was very young, I have been fascinated by tattoos and tattooing. Now that the work is growing, piece by piece, I could not see myself any other way. And no, people don't have issues bringing me around their family or kids because I don't run around like a Rock of Love Bus reject. I am a sincere, good-natured person who gets along with pretty much everyone (I don't hate people either, there's just people I really don't like). Also! To the people who complain that artists "have too big of an ego to finish so-and-so's piece" - the Bay Area is small, and tattooing communities in general are a tight-knit group and locally are, at the very least, aware of eachother's presence. Unless your prior artist moved to Jupiter or somewhere else your stupid ass can't afford to travel to, don't EVER expect an artist to "finish" someone else's work - especially when they work at a shop in the same frickin' city! Seriously? Really now.

Shoes - I love them.

Miss California controversy - I agree with the majority of the critical remarks that, while she may personally believe marriage is between a man and a woman (Shanna Moakler remarked that conservative Christians are not uncommon in pageants) - her job as a representative of the state, and as a competitor for the Miss USA title was to stick to a non-biased, inclusive response that addressed the legal issue rather than her personal beliefs. The question was not about what she personally defined as marriage. That is what blew it for her. "Miss USA should posses social grace, [and be able to be articulate and diplomatic] - Miss California does not."

Stress -  I could very easily look at all the mail/correspondence requiring specific action that is currently on my desk at home, and flip out. If the last year has taught me anything it's that I don't have to. Yes, I could jump off a cliff, or worse, let things slip by and never take care of them... but all you really have to do is just not. freak. out.

To Be Continued...