You know you're faded when you try to add cognac to mashed potatoes...

Part 2 is here. "You take the skizz-in off... Them's french fry wrappers!"

IN OTHER NEWz... Best of Craigslist has been slow lately. This is somewhat interesting... Amazing, even. For the sheer bizarreness and the fact that it is probably a troll... Oh well.

I followed you for a few blocks until you went into the park (I wasn't stalking you)... You blew a steady torrent of vomit on the grass in front of you, and then planted your face in it with your ass up in the air. I'm pretty sure you said “Yes”; at least that's what I heard... And I could tell from the side of your face that wasn't caked with vomit that, underneath the smeared make-up, you were Hot!

Then, this was found on the Apple discussion forum - Blame the iPhone, it's cheaper than a divorce! Or you're really that stupid. Or, as it often turns out, you're also a troll. Aw, shucks...