one of the MB dudes just asked what the worst bummers are for girls. it was odd because he actually asked "hey what's the best way to bum a girl out," so i wasn't sure exactly where he was going with this... apparently, "there comes a time in every man's life when he wants to stop fucking up." so during our totally deep Facebook conversation, I came up with these top 10 most lame turn-offs, from a chick with a viewpoint that's sitting comfortably on... probably the most extremely fucked up end of the spectrum, but whatever. you know, chicks are never going to be fully satisfied anyway, so things like "don't be such a dick," and "tell her she's hot and shit like that," are pretty much a given. so here's some other ones:
10) other women in the past or, well, gee, concurrent to the relationship they probably had thought was exclusive. unless this has it's own agreement, just... don't.
9) saying you will call and not following through. and I don't mean something dumb like by a couple minutes or hours (people forget sometimes!), like blatantly not calling period. it doesn't matter if you can't make it to the screening of some shiteous movie we both know you don't want to watch - at least call and say you can't make it. not following through in general is lame. my motto is bum a girl out for 5 minutes, she'll get over it. bum her out for 5 hours/days (not on first date status, like actual relationship status) while she's waiting for your stupid MIA ass to call, and then bum her out on top of that... seriously, go fuck yourself.
8) don't fucking lie about it if you're not down! seriously. what the fuck. I never understood why guys think they are avoiding trouble / avoiding hurting feelings when they're really just planting seeds of evil in a bitch's brain with this shit. this really applies to anything: plans to hang out / go out, the extent of "openness" you may or may not have in the relationship boundaries, pretty much anything... I really think people should do whatever makes them happy but lying about it is pointless and stupid. half the time a chick is angry, it's not because she can't deal with whatever it is that went on, but primarily because of the trust violation of being lied to. just own your shit and handle it. bam. done.
7) having to be bailed out of jail or pulled out of fights on the regular. you don't really want us to be "that crazy bitch at the bar," so you really don't have to be that guy. honestly. unless it is absolutely necessary... yeah, great, I want to know you can kick someones ass if im ever in trouble but not like EVERY FUCKING 5 MINUTES or in line at Safeway. that's a huge insight into a dude's mental and emotional development so it's... kinda important.
6) not having a job
5) being fucking gross
4) staring at another girl's tits, unless you are lucky enough to both be talking about how hot that chick looks. this is weird, and we'll use it against you anyway, but hot girls are hot girls. and tits are awesome. we know this. but we can sense if the vibe is innocent admiration or blatantly disrespectful. I know YOU can't sense that vibe because you are a dude and we are fucking talking about tits right now, but just act like you know and then jack off to 'em later. you hate us crying about stupid shit so at least if you are staring at some other chick, thinking about slamming her in the back of the stock room, use your charm and wit to play it off because you probably still want to be fucking your girl when you get home.
3) using household items for things they were not intended for. proper wifeys worth having around are OCD with their homes. home is where the heart is. and all the other good shit. you can add: forgetting you know how to do your own laundry and dishes, and just home maintenance shit in general. well actually if this is regarding use of things, I guess any misuse or destruction of property would fall under this bum-out category and can extend to property damage, holes in the wall, breaking things, etc.
2) doing pretty much anything in disruptive excess, particularly while in isolation, and for unnaturally long, uninterrupted periods of time. I won't get into specifics but this is just fucking weird and whatever it is that you're doing, it's gonna freak us out. so we're gonna be all up in your shit like uhhh wtf are you doing and then you're gonna be pissed we're all up in your shit... ugh, whatever.
1) exhibiting sociopathic / antisocial / psychopathic personality disorders or any marked personality disorder to the height of violence or unnecessary, constant and disproportionate anger / otherwise destructive behavior. or if you are unfortunate enough to have serious issues, GET SOME FUCKING HELP. I really don't need to be dragged up a flight of stairs, held underneath the water at the pool at our health club, suffocated, have shit thrown at me, etc to get your point. I do understand English and am perfectly willing to communicate by other means.
